Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
