my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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