Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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