There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
