The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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