Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
