sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
