She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
