I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
