i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
