can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
