did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
did you just send me my own nude
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
