it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Randomize
