a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
