Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
