You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize