best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
