I wish I could teleport
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i can't believe i had my finger in that
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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