We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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