none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
