Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
