I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
