i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
