He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize