I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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