the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Your dad touched me again.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
