I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
