Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
