I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
