..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
