physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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