Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
