I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
