But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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