Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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