Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
