Define "chronic" masturbator.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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