i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
