I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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