I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
