if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
