whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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