The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
