Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
