i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
