Well douche your snatch and let's go!
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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