I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
