You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
