Pappa wants mamma naked
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
