I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
