Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
