hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
