She said her name was "party"
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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