The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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