I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
