when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
