Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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