Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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