I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
