We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize