I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
