belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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