I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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