I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
