hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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