come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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