The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
